I have been married for two years. Before marriage I used to have a problem of reading stories of pornography and watching pornography and masturbating and I always knew it was bad but I could never stop. Thank Allah after I got marry I stopped that bad habit.
But recently my wife has been away for some time and she wiill still be away for couple of months, and May Allah forgive me I have even watched that thing again and read some stories two or three times and masturbated. I know this is extremely bad and I really want to stop it, is it ok if I just mastubate without watching anything so I can control my shahwat to make sure I stop watching pornagraphy while my wife is gone?
Would be ok to read the stories instead of watching or should I stop even reading?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الجواب حامدا ومصليا ومسلما
As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
We understand that you are going through a very difficult situation. It is good to know that marriage served very beneficial in regards to aiding you to desist from sin. Rasulullah (may peace be upon him) said, "Oh those of you who are young! Whoever among you has the capability of getting married, should do so. It will aid him in lowering his gaze from haram, and safeguard his chastity." (Sunan Abi Dawud) But, unfortunately, there are times in one's life when the doors to these types of sins are open, and, due to certain circumstances, it is difficult to refrain from them even after marriage.
You should bear in mind that getting involved in such a sin, whether it is by watching or reading, has many spiritual as well as worldly consequences. Allah ta'ala says in the Qur'an, "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity". Rasulullah (may peace be upon him) said, "Allah has cursed the one who casts a lustful glance upon another as well as the one who is looked at."(Bayhaqi) Scholars have greatly detested the act of manually stimulating one's genital organs.
You should remember that a sin is like a rash: even though scratching it will prolong the healing of the wound, a person feels the need to scratch it just once thinking he will not do it again. But, as we know, the urge to scratch it will return. Likewise, a person will think that he will read or watch something haram one last time, and will never do it again, but that urge will most certainly return.
The detrimental effects of misusing ones eyes in such a manner are long lasting. The images constantly stay in the person's mind and become a distraction from all religious and worldly actions. Rasulullah (may peace and blessing be upon him) said, "Looking at haram is a poisonous arrow among the arrows of Shaytaan. Whoever turns away from such a sin out of the fear of Allah, in return, Allah will give him such imaan the sweetness of which he will feel in his heart."
It is recommended that you keep yourself busy, always engage yourself in something halal, for example sports, going to the masjid, being with good company. If the urge to commit this sin returns, you should ask yourself, "Is it worth it to read or watch this? Is it wise to let these images poison my mind for the rest of my life, or is it better to tolerate some pain, for the betterment of my future?" If you control your desires and desist from the sin, you will go through a few minutes of pain. If you let your desires get the best of you, you will have to suffer the consequences for years to come.
Try your hardest not to isolate yourself in a room, or put yourself in any position in which you are likely to do this sin.
It is also advisable to frequently recite the following du'a:
اَللَّهُمَّ طَهِّرْ قَلْبِيْ مِنَ النِّفَاقِ، وَعَمَلِيْ مِنَ الرِّيَاءِ وَلِسَانِيْ مِنَ الْكِذْبِ وَعَيْنِيْ مِنَ الْخِيَانَةِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَعْلَمُ خَائِنَةَ الْأَعْيُنِ وَمَا تُخْفِي الصُّدُوْرُ
O Allah, purify my heart from hypocrisy, my actions from ostentation, my tongue from lying, and my eyes from treachery. It is you who knows the treacherous eye and that which the hearts conceal.
However, some scholars have said, if the genitals are manually stimulated from time to time to safeguard oneself from sin, hopefully it will not be accounted for in the hereafter.
We hope Allah ta'ala makes it easy for you.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala knows best.
Approved by Mufti Husain Ahmad Madani