“Each of you are responsible and will be asked about your responsibility.”
(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī)
Not too long ago, before my first child was born, I remember reading numerous books and articles about parenting. I would also frequently listen to lectures and read material from Muslim and non-Muslims alike to see if I can find some key parenting points and tips. As I was reading, I came across a thought-provoking African proverb that completely changed my perspective of tarbiya and the shared communal responsibilities between all individuals: “It takes a village to raise a child.”
As I began to ponder upon the concise wording of this proverb, I immediately realized that the message within is entirely in line with the Islamic philosophy of upbringing. In Islam, although the primary responsibility of a child and their upbringing lies on the parents, the complete development of a child is done at a communal level. The Islamic philosophy of upbringing is based on collectivism and not individualism. Each person in the community is responsible for ensuring communal prosperity through their respective contributions. Upon pondering further, I realized that this philosophy of collectivism is not only restricted to the upbringing of children but is a distinguishing feature of all relationships in Islam. Furthermore, it is this Islamic philosophy which helps ensure communal prosperity. When a person begins to look at the interrelationship between every member of the community, their approach to problems people face is different. It is no longer their problem, it’s our problem. This philosophy is consistent with the teachings of the Messenger s. Consider the following ahadith:
Nu’mān bin BashīrRA narrates that the Messenger of Allah s said, “The believers are similar to a single body; if the head is in pain, the entire body will experience fever and insomnia.” (Muslim)
Abū Mūsā al-Asha’rī RA narrates that the Messenger of Allah s said, “The (relationship) of one believer with another is similar to that of a building; one part strengthens the other.” (Bukhari)
In the aforementioned aḥādīth, the Messenger s has clearly framed the entire Muslim ummah as one unit. Each one of us is meant to strengthen the other, feel the pain of the other, and support one another. The articulate wording used in the simile used by the Messenger s sends such a profound message: our success lies in the success of others. A structure is only as strong as its weakest component. If components of the structure are missing or damaged, the entire structure suffers. Similarly, if our brothers and sisters in our communities are not thriving or successful, their lack of success will also affect us.
A view of Islam from the lens of communal responsibility
If a person was to go through the various rulings in Islam and analyze them, they would find a common theme of communal responsibility. The forms of worship in Islam all have some features that connect or help the community.
In the obligation of discharging zakah, a person helps the needy in their community. In the obligation of salah, we find that the men are to congregate daily in the Masjid with other people of the community, giving them a chance to know how everyone is doing. In the obligation of fasting, people are to avoid food or drink throughout the day, allowing them to sympathize with those who are needy and regularly experience starvation. In the Hajj obligation, a Muslim can see the situation of other Muslims around the globe. Although these communal benefits are not the primary purpose of these modes of worship, it is clear that ensuring communal prosperity is a key feature of Islam. Now if a person through the same lens continues to look at the other teachings of Islam, such as: enjoining good and forbidding evil, refraining from verbally or physically harming others, the prohibition of backbiting and spreading rumours, the virtues of removing harmful items from the pathway, the virtues of building a Masjid, the virtues of building a well, etc., they would now see all the rulings in Islam revolve around everyone fulfilling their role to help the next person succeed.
Importance of understanding the interrelationship between us and others
If a person fails to adopt and adhere to the aforementioned Islamic philosophy of communal responsibility and begins to look at each person with an individualist attitude, the fabric of society begins to deteriorate. For example, one can just look at spousal relationships. Any spousal relationship in which responsibilities and rights have to be litigated (whether through a traditional court or a fatwa) is bound to fail. Successful relationships are never dichotomous. Rather, both individuals must work in harmony. The rights and responsibilities of each spouse are meant to be complementary of the other. Most breakdowns in spousal relationships are due to the spouses not understanding the complementary nature of their roles. For example, there is no question that Islam puts most of the domestic responsibilities on the wife and the primary bread-winning responsibilities on the husband. However, these are not binary roles completely unrelated to one another. Rather, this is a system set in place by Allah using the natural strengths of both spouses to complement the other. This does not mean that a wife cannot or should not aid the husband in his responsibilities nor that a husband cannot aid and assist his wife in her domestic responsibilities. We find many examples of female companions assisting their husbands in their labour along with examples of men helping their wives at home.
‘Ayesha was once asked what the Messenger of Allah s would do at home. She replied, “He would be busy in helping his family. Whenever salāh time would start, he would then leave to the Masjid.” (al-Bukhāri)
It should also be noted that the Messenger s was not only the bread-winner for his multiple homes. Rather, he was also the head of the Islamic world, the imam of his local community and responsible for fulfilling the obligations of prophethood to ensure the religion of Islām reaches the entire world and lasts until the day of qiyāma. Despite all of this, he made sure to always take out time to help at home. Once each spouse looks at themselves and their roles to complement the other, the relationship will strengthen. Conversely, the more a person views spousal responsibilities as absolutely binary, the relationship will weaken.
The bottom line:
Similar to the aforementioned example of spousal relationships, the same applies to any relationship. Teacher/parent relationships, parent/children relationships, and brother/sister relationships are all suffering due to the individualist mentality which has creeped into the Muslims. As Muslims, we have responsibilities towards our families, neighbours, and society at large. We are responsible for ensuring our brothers and sisters across the globe are prospering. If we do not uphold this responsibility, then we have been warned by the Messenger of Allah s:
“Each of you is responsible and will be asked about your responsibility.” (Bukhari)
Now, more than ever, it is time to heed that warning. Otherwise, we will all be questioned and held accountable.
